The real truth - Jan 7th
I can’t share all that’s going on. It’s too much. No one can relate. I’m alone like this. I’m not normal to have so much shit going on and feel all these feelings.
That’s an old part of me thinking this.
In the weekly Queen to Queen group, the notion of being ‘good’ with how things are came up, and there seem to be a limit to go to ‘great’. What came up between the 3 of us on the call was us not allowing us to be great. But in reality, greatness already is within us. It’s within you too. We have a tendency to think tha twe are not there yet, that more needs to be gained and accomplished. The truth is that we are already great today as we are. We are enough.
A question came up to ask each of us individually.
“What’s one thing you can do in the next 24 hours to embody your greatness?”
We each had a very different answer, one was to take an action she’d been meaning to take since a few weeks, the other was to trully celebrate herself.
Mine, which surprised me was to share my truth of what’s going on right now. Being my authentic self and showing up vulnerable too.
What feels to me super vulnerable.
Private family matters happening
I’m currently visiting for a private family matter, and it’s affecting me emotionally, and energetically. I feel a heaviness from the events happening.
There’s also family dynamics going on and I’d had an apprehension, as some previous meet up had included triggers and harsh words were said.
Exciting coaching program coming up and transformational work coming up
I’ve also had 2 beautiful talks with close individuals where I’m sharing my work, and the program I’m launching, and they want to join, as they want the results the programs will get there. I did not try to sell the programs, in the society norms of selling ‘buy my program’ type of way.
Relocating to a new country, new languages, new people
I’m moving out of Sète in France and relocating to Portugal for at least 2 months. This is the first time in my 36 years of life that I’m choosing where I’m going for myself. And a part of me feels it’s very big!
Family trying to understand
Coming out of 2 weeks spending time with family, them asking and wanting to know what my exact plan is. And for them not having a return ticket and large portions of unknown is not normal in a plan. My old self coming up and feeling the need to justify her choices, and at the same time my current self knowing that I’m on incredible journey, and all will unfold smoothly, as it’s meant to happen. Solutions will come to me in the moments they need to be applied.
“If you think you’re enlighten, go and spend a week with your family”
Letting go and creating a new identity
I’m also going through an internal identify shift. In 2019 after being 13 years on the birth control, I stopped taking it. From the book “This is your brain on birth control: How the pills changes everything” by Sarah Hill, I’ve gained greater awareness of what my body was going through.
A woman on her natural hormonal cycle will have oestrogene released in her body pre ovulation which will make her feel sexy, desires, energised to look for a mate spring/summer phase - thank you biology. Past ovulation, progesterone is released in the body to prepare the body for pregnancy, it’s time to rest, cocoon, introversion happens energetically, mothering mode in a way ish autumn phase. Winter is period phase.
When a woman takes the pill, she’s only on progesterone phase. From 17 to 30 I’ve been living in autumn phase / progesterone. Which is a different person to my current cycling self who gets to live through spring and summer phase every cycle. I feel like I shine brighter.
PS. when I was on the pill, a friend told be she stop feeling that spring / summer phase and she felt weird. I’d never been on it and therefore I didn’t see what she was talking about, I thought I was fine and felt great as I was. So if you can’t relate and think you’re just fine where you are, I relate to you. And your current feeling are true for you.
Since 2019 I’ve been taking action as a reaction to my environment. Today I’ve shifted to being proactive. This is a major shift in my way of functioning.
I’ve also been trying to define my future self with who I’ve been. But I’m no longer my version on the pill. I have no idea who I would have been in the past not on the pill.
Which is a great news and also unknown future. To redefine myself with who I want to be, letting go of the condition of who I was.
To recap
Private family matters happening
Exciting coaching program coming up and transformational work coming up
Relocating to a new country, new languages, new people
Family trying to understand the choices I make through my living experience but with their life lenses and therefore not understanding.
Letting go of old identity - which was defined by the hormonal pill I was taking
Creating my new identity
All while continuing to take care of myself.
It’s a lot. It feels like a lot. I cry in the evenings, I cry when I feel support from beautiful humans who let me know that they are there for me, let us know how we can best support you.
The old part of me believed that because I’m going through all of this, I’m not good enough or not worthy of what I truly desire.
My TRUTH TODAY, I feel grounded, the trust in myself is at its highest it’s ever been. There’s a deeper knowing that feels unshakeable. Which make me feel strong, power on the journey I’m taking.
The truth is that we all have a lot going on most of the time. As humans we are resilient, and we can do incredible things. You are capable of a heck of a lot more thant you think you can.
May you choose to embody your greatness today, as it’s already within you right now.
I invite you to answer and act on the following today.
Before asking yourself the question, close your eyes, take a deep breath and tune into your boyd sensations. Then ask yourself.
“What’s one thing you can do in the next 24 hours to embody your greatness?”
And then take that action.
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May you be the greatess you’ve ever been!
With love from my wild heart.
Tara