From Frog Farmer to Queen: How to See the Good in Men

A love letter to man,

I see you, deeply.
I see the love you hold, the love you ache to give, and all that you do to share it.

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I used to be angry with men.
I saw myself as less than you — desperate for love and acceptance, yet also feeling like an object. A trophy. A body to play with. A helper to carry what you didn’t want to.

I saw manipulation… and still craved a man by my side.
No wonder I was confused — needing you but fearing you.
Such a paradox. And I didn’t even know it was playing out inside me.

Then I read The Queen’s Code by Alison Armstrong — and it cracked me open.
It offered a new lens.

It said: when a woman is hurt, she can turn any man into a frog. A frog farmer — just like her mother, her grandmother. Unaware.

But some women choose differently.
Queens.
Queens see men to their core — and in their presence, men rise into kings.

That changed everything.

I started noticing what men do for women.
When you start looking, you really start seeing.

Men want to provide. To be there.
Meanwhile, women have learned to be independent — because we can.

And yes, we’ve been doing it all for a long time.

But this isn’t about capacity.
It’s about allowing — embracing the dance of feminine and masculine.

Here’s a simple moment I once resisted:
A man offered his hand as I stepped off a boat.
I used to say, “No thanks, I’ve got it,” thinking, You think I’m weak? I can do this alone!

Now? I take the hand, smile, give a playful tug on his arm, and say, “Thank you.”
He beams.

That one smile says so much.

Let me ask you — when someone thanks you for being there… how does that feel?

It feels good.

When you allow a man to support you, you give him that same feeling.
And because it feels good, he wants to keep showing up.

This is feminine energy in flow.
You get to choose to allow.

Here are just a few gestures I’ve seen men make:

• Drawing a bath with oils and candles so she can relax after a long day.

• Organising finances so she’s cared for when he’s gone.

• Walking street-side to shield her from traffic.

• Planning an entire camping weekend so she can just show up and enjoy.

• Supporting her financially post-divorce while caring for their children.

• Having kids even if he’s unsure, because it’s her dream.

• Moving across the world to support her happiness.

• Buying her favourite snack, just because.

• Holding her close and listening when something’s off.

My invitation to you, Queens:
Notice what men do for women.
Without a story. Just notice.

And if you want to take it further, thank a man.
Then watch his face.

Magic, right?

Send this to a Queen who’s ready to see men differently.
Let’s rise together.