Avoiding the quick fix, the question that helps me
Written on 20240813
I’ve made a choice, because someone didn’t align with my core values.
I’m currently feeling a need, I want hugs, I miss hugs, I want connection, which I had with this person but I don’t want to spend too much time with this person as their behaviour, thinking, way of being influences mine.
And I also know that If I were to reach out to this person they would like to spend time with me. We get along very well. And I’m feeling the internal struggle to stick to my choice and not veer off.
I can relate it to watching series on Netflix, where I’ve started a series, and I’ve gone binging mode, I want to go to sleep but I tell myself just one more, it’s not long and I end up watching the whole thing and go to sleep at 3 am.
It’s an addiction, I want something because it’s going to create a quick release of happy hormones in my body. I’m craving it as I know it works.
I’m also well aware of this pattern and choose to occupy myself with other activities to avoid going down that route.
What works best for me I found, is switching to my internal true want.
I ask myself:
What does Tara truly want right now?
Then I know, there’s something I’ve been thinking about doing that comes up. I focus on that, how I can take action on that. This gives me a renewed boost of energy and as it’s comes from within, it’s stronger than a quick boost of happy hormones triggered by an external interaction which only last as long as the interaction last and then I’m back to craving again.
Over the last few days (it’s Tuesday 13th August 2024 as I’m writing this) I’ve had these craving thoughts come up once or twice a day. This is a process, it’s definitely not perfect, and it’s working for me.
-I’m also staying kind to myself.
-There’s no internal judgment - no I shouldn’t be thing think, or I should. Nada
-I’m talking with my friends and coach who are incredible people supporting me and reflecting what they see in my through this process. This is golden as it’s supporting me in staying true to myself and not veering off.
Thank you for reading.
If you’re going through something similar, I know what you’re going through, you’re making the right choice, and you’ve got what it takes within yourself to stay true to you. Yes sometimes it will hurt, it’ll feel hard, and never ending. BUT, you’ve got this. It’s ok to feel crappy, to feel low on energy too. Keep showing up for yourself the best way you can, that could be just going for a walk today and that enough. I know this is not long lasting and you’re going to make what you want happen.
GO YOU!!
With Love
Wild hearted Tara x